righteousness & release
6 years sober.
The week of March 2025, marked the last drink I had, 6 years ago.
I wrote a long note to you about my journey releasing alcohol.
I deleted it.
It sounded righteous.
And righteousness feels gross to me.
This note has now become about alcohol and circulating experiences, not righteousness. My intention isn’t to “be right” being a non-drinker, rather to simply share this experience in the event it helps someone.
I don’t think I’m “right” by my choice.
I do have a story.
It’s about releasing the hold alcohol had over me,
The evolution of the experience, and
How I feel now.
When I share my experience with you about anything my intent is never to be righteous; rather to offer a perspective, an experience, for you to receive. If it ever feels otherwise please call me out.
Righteousness is rampant on the internet and I’m not feeling it. When I feel righteousness I feel contraction in my body. The energy feels hierarchical.
What you’re doing or what I’m doing is not right or better.
Instagram was my teacher of righteousness. I’m going to digress here for a moment from alcohol. I went off instagram for over 6 months in 2024. I was tending to my family and my full presence was required so I could serve from my highest place. There was no room for interference. When I returned back to Instagram the first thing I felt was: righteousness. I would open the app and everyone was telling me what to do, and that they were doing it right. It didn’t resonate so I deleted the app again.
This is not about Instagram. It’s to highlight the notion of righteousness versus sharing your experience as an offering.
Let’s circulate experiences.
Here’s what I’m here for: tell me your story. Share your experience with me. Tell me everything you know because you know so much. I want to hear it. Read me a poem. Tell me what’s hard. I want to hear it without the charge of “I’ve got this all figured out and you don’t” The ego’s plan is to have us see our own error clearly first. No thanks.
May any & all suggestions I make always feel like an offering based on my personal, embodied experience.
I deleted my piece to you, put on a favourite Kundalini song, “He Ma Durga” and lit my palo santo wood. Both are powerful transmuters of energy. I had a chat with Spirit.
The reminder is that we get to choose.
There may be another reality for us that we haven’t yet explored.
Stay open.
For me, sometimes if I have a strong reaction to something, it’s a good thing to explore vs. ignore.
You get to do life differently.
We outgrow ourselves & our old patterns
Here’s what I was done with: having a shorter fuse with my girls at bedtime if I’d had a drink, waking in the night from my body being dehydrated, morning anxiety, morning anxiety, morning anxiety, feeling unclear, irritability, feeling bloated, feeling like I had to “get back to myself” in the morning, and like I had to “make up for the way I felt.”
Ultimately alcohol had power over me and I didn’t like that.
3 words to describe how I feel without alcohol: free, clear and peaceful.
I circled up with a few other women who are on this path of releasing alcohol. I asked them to share how they feel without alcohol in three words for you:
“Free. Fresh. Clear. Not drinking has opened up so much mental space for me. That feels like freedom to me. And there is still nothing like waking up after a fun night out with friends and feeling fresh and clear headed.” Kate V
“Clarity. Restfulness. Deep trust in my body.” Elena Brower
“Safe. Alive. Inspired. It’s like I have a whole life ahead of me now, it feels like I believe in my future.” Elizabeth
“Awake. Beholden. Open. Without a doubt, sobriety has saved me.” Alison D
“Strong, Healthy, Radiant.” Melissa L
”Worthy, Peace. Freedom.” Alida F
“This eclipse brings a karmic chapter to a close and opens the door to something real and new. Get radically honest. Get courageous. Get clear. The next version of your life begins when you stop pretending you're fine with the one you’ve outgrown” — Rising Woman
This is how I feel now looking back on my alcohol days.
I outgrew that version of myself.
The woman who felt better with a drink.
I was becoming the woman who felt better without a drink.
The woman who was funnier, more wild and more free.
I was becoming the woman who felt completely free.
Eventually it felt like interference. This realization came later though.
This isn’t a recommendation to stop drinking as much as it is a suggestion that there are other narratives out there we might not be considering because we’re so entrenched in our own.
Sometimes a new narrative can come in the form of the universe presenting us with whispers, or little openings to explore.
Or sometimes the universe puts us in situations which create entirely new conditions for us and we’re “required” to adapt or look differently within.
Mine was both a whisper & new set of conditions.
One day after the next, I became the woman who felt better without a drink, and who knew it wasn’t the drink bringing her closer to who she was.
Wherever you are on the spectrum with alcohol, or something else you are perhaps losing resonance with, stay open.
Know there’s another window open for you…
And mostly, my window is open. I am here to listen—releasing alcohol is a journey. If you want to explore what an alcohol-free life looks like, I’m here. I have favourite resources I’m happy to share. Feel free to reach out at christine@essentialsisters.ca.